A Tear Free Day

It feels so good to have reached 8:30 at night without ever having ended up crying today. There was a little while there when I thought I was going to start, but then I just let myself play Solitaire during work hours for a minute and I got control of it and was able to go on. And there's this song by that Tim Hughs sings, When Silence Falls, based on Psalm 88, my favorite psalm, that says everything my brain wants to think and so I can just play the song and it saves my brain from having to do the thinking.

I took two Klonapin and I feel a slow calm overtaking me, even though I still feel surrounded by the silent screaming storm beyond the glass. For now, anyway, I am safe, warm, and hugged. I didn't even have to ask Bill for a hug today. He just did. He thought of it all on his own. It made me feel loved and thought of and I'm clinging to that right now. I talked to Kathryn, Bill, Ellen, Bekah, Deb Cawley, and my mom all in one day. How's that for keeping up with friends? (Pats self on back.)

Now I must crawl into bed while the drugs are still working and before any tears can start to come.