What are we waiting for, all of us? What do we think is going to happen? My heart is burning and I want to scream and scream and scream. Why does every window have glass on it? Who are we keeping out? Or are we just keeping ourselves in?
I don't want to be here. I wish I had a choice. I feel so constrained, so inhibited, so trapped in convention. I want to just be me. I'm tired of being socially acceptable. I want to wear stripes and plaids together and chop my hair off. I want to be me without caring what other people say. I am tired of caring. I am sick of being good. And I am sick of thinking about myself. I wish the struggle inside my head would focus on someone else for awhile. I wish stress didn't make me worse. I would go throw myself into some African missions trip if I thought it would get me away from myself, but I would only crumble and fall. I can't run, I can't hide.
I'm stuck with me.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Me, Myself, And I
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1 comments:
I could have written something like this too
scream scream scream
then do it
put the music on and sing out loud at the top of your voice
let go of it all
what are we waiting for...depends on the day and the mood
sometimes easy thing hurt the less(laughing)
like when I want to get fucked just because I feel deeply alone and unloved or overloved I dont know.
it s in the moment.
I feel an sexual ecstasy would be freedom.
stopping time.
though I'm far from sex obsessed.
just the thought of the day.
why are you inhibited and trapped in convention?
Just be you and fuck them all? who are they to tell you how you should live ,be, act, talk,write etc
choose your own dress. your own mask if you want to enter their masquerade, and play.
It is not hedonism,it is freedom, finding the way to just be free from all the shit of what our judeo christian societies and the patriarchy shit made us believe
Find your lilith
Run free!
I also want to chop my hair off too at times. I would look so damn ugly.
Then I would kill myself haha
no, well yes I am protected by appearance.
Till they say you are pretty you can make it right,you feel behind your shield, and can fight the world.
Thank Goddess for the Brain
well not always for it gets fucked up too, emotions drive us insane and empathy...God having to wear it all on our daily faces. Its heavy.
I am tired of caring and walking on eggshells just not to hurt others,because I love them.
but fuck ! if they love,should not they give me that "you owe me nothing in return"
surely I would forgive most of anything to the ones I cherish.
I know nothing but Love,it is has to be unconditionnal and insane, or it is not, exist not.
I still wonder though.
I am glad I came here, you seem so like me in many ways.
well perhaps it s just words.
but it shows we can see someone's word and think how it can echo with our inside struggles.
I'd rather not talk about my daily lucide moments when I truly see darkness.
Of course this world is lost therein
but if we dont fight for more, fight for the light, because we deserve a piece of it too right?
good or bad, screw that Anna!
there is nothing like good or bad, or wrong or right, mere judgements, who are we?
just living creature,trying to do our best,to learn, to love,to share, we are still learning, there s must be a reason.
Be well, hope you feel better today
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